Her Heart Was Won Without Father's Permission
Dear Mr. Hamby,
Thank you so much for your helpful reply. I understand what you mean when you say that we have to set aside our perfectly ordered world in order to redeem a broken relationship. We would allow things that we might not otherwise have allowed, and you know what? It's OK. It's all OK. All
these little things that we seem to worry about so much don't even really matter. What good is the end "result" when the spirits/hearts have been crushed in the process?
I am finding this out now with my 17 yod and a young man who has an interest in her, and has had one for about two years. We have known his family for about ten years and the two grew up together. He let his interest known before he or she was mature. Her heart was won from the young man without her father's permission. He intended no harm, he was just young and immature in letting his interest known before the fruit was ripe. Now you have protective parents coming in, etc., because we didn't know how or when this young man would mature, or our daughter for that matter. Also, what is the Lord's will in this? But now I see that the kids' hearts have been crushed. These two can't even have a "normal" friendship anymore because of parents. The boy is frustrated and is giving up, and my daughter's spirit is crushed and she constantly feels like she is being rude and unkind to this young man - she feels like she is in a cage. She wants to tell him how sorry she is for treating him the way she does and she feels that she can't because of parents. All because of what? Because it needs to be done"right" - perfectly ordered according to the dictates of all the homeschooling "courtship" literature? Please don't get me wrong, I believe in parental authority in this matter, but where is grace? Grace. Grace.
Grace. All I know is that we have two hurting kids on our hands and if things continue as they are their hearts will be forever seared. This will be a time of bitter memories instead of sweet ones - whether they end up together or not.
Thank you for listening, for your articles, and for your response. May the Lord bless you and your endeavors at restoring broken relationships with your children.
Sincerely,
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