A Difficult Divorce

One of the most difficult choices a man may have ever faced is found in the book of Ezra chapters 9 &10. It is here where Ezra learns that many of the leaders of Israel who have just returned from exhile, had previously married foreign women. Knowing that this may incur the wrath of God even further, Ezra begins to pray, fast, and humble himself. His view of God’s treatment toward Israel in light of their nation being destroyed, is noteworthy: “And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this, shall we break your commandments again and intermarry with the peoples who practice these abominations? Would you not be angry with us until you consumed us, so that there should be no remnant, nor any to escape?...Behold, we are before you in our guilt, for none can stand before you because of this.”

Can you imagine being the leader of this people and having to face this most difficult decision? Why is it difficult? Because these men not only have wives, they also have children; and the only way that they can have God’s blessing again is to sever their relationships. We don’t know if they supported their wives and children after this seperation but I do know that this decision must have been heart wrenching. I just can’t fathom it. Ezra couldn’t either. I do see in this, an heroic act made by those who are willing to embrace such an unthinkable decision. It is heroic because in order for their families to receive God's blessing, they know that have to make the ultimate sacrifice.

In chapter 10 we find Ezra quite beside himself not knowing what to do, except to pray and ask for fogiveness: “While Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping, and casting himself down before the house of God, a very great assembly of men, women, and children, gathered to him out of Israel, for the people wept bitterly.” The text doesn’t specifically say this, but I have to consider the possibility that these men, women, and children are the very one’s who are about to make the most difficult decision of their lives—in order to receive God’s blessing. I am sure that this did not ease the pain for Ezra but something significant happens next. A young man comes to Ezra and says, “We have broken faith with our God and have married foreign women from the peoples of the land, but even now there is hope for Israel in spite of this. Therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord and those who tremble at the commandment of our God…” Still I cannot fathom having to make this decision or being the leader who has to enforce it. But then I read the next verse and it spoke volumes to me. But before I quote it, I must say that leadership can be a lonely place, where pain is part of the package. Only when leaders embrace the pain will they be able to lead others through difficult waters. Then said Sheccaniah to Ezra, “Arise, for it is your task, and we are with you; be strong and do it.” It is the task of men who desire to lead their families to make difficult decisions in order to receive God’s greatest blessings—this is our task. We live in a day when men need to humble themselves and pray and fast and seek the God of heaven for our families. We do not live in an easy day; there is pain and difficulty in relationships at many crossroads. What will we do when faced with a difficult decision?

Note: A Difficult Divorce is not to suggest that divorce is favored by God. Clearly the Scriptures teach that God hates divorce. The NT also speaks to the Christian who is married to a non Christian and teaches them to remain married, but if they (the unbeliever) departs, let them depart, a brother or sister is not held in bondage in such cases. This story in the book of Ezra is really teaching men that sometimes difficult decision are required of us if we are to receive God’s blessing. Today we live in a culture when men are more than willing to divorce their wives and leave their children. The families in Ezra’s day were grieved beyond words. I would contend that men today need to embrace whatever pain they have to endure in order to keep their families together. We are fighting for the blessing of our children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and generations to come. Embracing the pain is about men being strong for our children and our chidlren’s children…there is a lot at stake, and this is our task.

Reommending Reading:

Ishmael, The Mansion, True Faced, The Highland Chairman, The Lost Clue