Choosing Forgiveness

Nancy Leigh DeMoss has written a very powerful book titled Choosing Forgiveness.  If you think of God forgiving you as you forgive others, that can be a scary thought. Did the Lord mean that literally?  Join Nancy as she explores how forgiving like God is a choice that frees us from the burdens of bitterness, anger, and isolation.  

            As I have been pondering forgiveness today, I came across two passages of Scripture that spoke to my heart.  But before I share them, I need to consider those who have been deeply offended, hurt, and have had their heart torn to pieces.  Frankly it has been easy for me to forgive over these past thirty years since Lord saved me.  But I have not been tested severely…I have not been betrayed by my wife and I have not been slandered;  I would think that these offenses would be difficult to forgive.  Oh I have faced situations that required some getting over…the time Deb and I were falsely arrested after crossing the Golden Gate Bridge.  Assaulted by a SWAT team, we barely escaped with our lives. And even after proving we were innocent, we were released without our car and dropped on a side street near San Francisco.  For those who haven’t heard the story, we were driving a stolen rent a car vehicle without our knowledge.  We were harassed, threatened, and almost killed.  It wasn’t difficult to forgive them, though I should have been more adamant about them apologizing to Debbie.  My children have said things that were very hurtful during times of relational tension…it is easy to forgive my children.  It is easy to forgive my wife, though I am the one who needs to be forgiven most of the time.  While building our first house in western NY, our plumber stole over four thousand dollars of our materials and our windows were stolen a few weeks later…all in all, over ten thousand dollars worth, and the insurance wouldn’t cover the loss .it is not difficult to forgive, even with these losses…God is in control, there are lessons to be learned.  If I were betrayed however, I do not know if I could forgive so easily…I just don’t know.  What I do know is that our Lord said that as we forgive we shall be forgiven.         

One of the greatest acts of forgiveness besides the Lord, was demonstrated by Glenda who was raped by her father for eight years.  Her story makes forgiveness a possibility for anyone who has been hurt deeply.  Unwanted from birth and abused throughout her childhood, Glenda was desperate for love and a sense of belonging. Her only respite from her home life was school and the welcoming shade of a willow tree, under which she would lie and dream of another life, another family, and pray to the God she did not know yet. Ultimately, Glenda's afflictions became the cord with which God drew her to Himself. Receiving His salvation, she understood that God had saved her from her own sinfulness as much as He had saved her from her horrid conditions. I think that this really says it all…when we understand the vile conditions that we have been saved out of, we are able to forgive others.

Paul in 2^nd Corinthians 2, wrote, “For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.  Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but some measure..to all of you.  For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so that should rather turn to forgive him and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.  So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.  For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything…so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.”  Note Paul’s steps in forgiveness:  “turn to forgive him, comfort him, and reaffirm your love for him.”  That is a beautiful picture of forgiveness…forgiveness is indeed a choice that restores and releases both the offender and the offended.  Without forgiveness we become a prisoner to a bitter heart. 

Tomorrow I would like to take a look at the offender and his grief.