Thankfull & Mercifull

            Today I have much to be thankfull for.   Yes I know I used an extra “L.”  Early this morning while sitting here in the ICU waiting for a miracle, the dialysis machine started to malfunction. I hate when stuff like this happens.  First they close the curtains so I can no longer see what is going on…my son Jonathan was with me during this one.  Then you hear the voices…the beeps…the urgent calls for other staff.  Your mind begins to think the worst and your heart begins to race and you pray like you’ve never prayed before…you try to make God listen…you beg, you plead…you bargain.  Why does God allow so much suffering and trauma into our lives?  I think this question was already answered by the Lord’s half brother James  *James 5:11, I will paraphrase) “Because when you endure suffering, you will experience the compassion of the Lord and His tender mercies.”  Being here in the ICU with my entire family, waiting and praying for my dad, we have experienced the abundance of God’s tender mercies, just when we’ve needed them.  We have also experienced the roller coaster of troubling experiences that just takes our breath away. 

            “I can’t get his blood back in!”  That was what I heard while waiting and praying behind the curtain.  When you are on dialysis you have a portion of your blood on the outside of your body while it is going through the machine to be filtered.  If the machine stops working, the blood will clot within minutes and you will not be able to get the blood back in.  When this occurs a blood transfusion is essential and time is of the essence, especially when your heart rate and blood pressure is falling.  Tension filled the room.  Then silence…the beeps stopped.  I couldn’t sit silent any longer.  “Kathy,” I said. (she is my dad’s nurse), is everything ok?  “Yes” she said.  “Everything is ok, I was able to get his blood back in.”   Unless you’ve been in this situation, you can’t imagine the relief…the release of tension…of energy…you’re exhausted. 

            An hour later, the doctor walks in…he looks at me with a smile and says, “your dad is doing much better.  He seems to be filtering out some of the impurities in his body on his own without the dialysis. So we are going to keep him off of it until tomorrow and then recheck his levels.  If he continues to improve, we may not need the dialysis after all.”  God’s compassions and tender mercies, experienced, again!  Please keep praying for my dad…oh, I would love to see him breathing on his own so they can remove his breathing tube.  He is getting better…but I’ve been here before…things can change so quickly when you are in ICU…may our Great and wonderful God be with him….may we continue to experience His compassion and tender mercies…especially for my mom.  This has taken quite a toll on her…but God is changing us all through this experience.  I wish you could see my sons and daughter as they sleep here in his room every night…dad’s room looks more like a fraternity.  God is good.