Mom, I Have a Sore Throat! part 1.

 

Dear Mark, I just finished listening again to your CD about helping parents deal with angry children. My heart is so full.  I remember last May at the home school convention when my friend and I asked you about grace-based parenting. Didn't you think our children might take advantage of us?

 

We asked you to contrast that with what we had heard another speaker say about maintaining order in your home by "lovingly" enforcing discipline and structure. You wanted us to go find him and bring him over so you could straighten him out!

I'm a practical person, so I asked you, what if your son woke up one day and said he didn't feel good. He had no fever, just a stomach ache and a sore throat. What would you do? You told us you'd probably let him spend the day in bed.

 

Up to that point, I had always made my children get up and get dressed unless they could show me a symptom. You explained that we need to extend trust to our children and believe what they say.

 

At the time, my friend and I gave each other the mom look and thought to ourselves, "Not at my house!" But I thought a long time about what you said. I'd like to think my parenting style has changed in the last year, but you'd have to check in with my children to find out.

 

Well, it happened. Last week, my 15-year-old son woke up and told me he didn't feel well. He had a stomach ache and a sore throat, but he wasn't running a fever. I felt sympathetic because I had just recovered from the flu. My instincts were pretty good because I had established a habit of daily times with God including journaling. And I sensed the nudge to trust my son and let him spend the day in bed. So, I told him he could go back to sleep and I hoped he felt better soon.  I left him in God's tender care.

 

About 11:00 a.m., he came out of his room, looking like he was feeling better. He reminded me that he had a class that he only attends once a week to go to the next day. He had homework that needed to be done if he were well enough to go to class. He wanted to know if it would be okay with me for him to get up and finish it.

 

(And who is the faithless mother who thinks her son is going to take advantage of her if she extends a little bit of grace to him??!! I was so humbled). I didn't know what to say. So, I told him he could finish his homework. And he did. What a life lesson for me. I still marvel at the goodness of God to allow me to show grace to my son. He responded responsibly, but, even if he hadn't, I could still extend the grace of God to him.

 

On your CD, you talked about the imbalance of God. His mercies are new to 1,000 generations; His consequences to three or four generations. You briefly touched on the beatitudes, but you ran out of time (for the second year in a row). Will you come back again, give another talk about extending the grace of God to our children, and this time, will you start at the end and work your way back to the beginning?

 

Thank you for coming to the conference, for speaking to us, for answering questions, and for allowing God to use you in our lives. I so appreciate what you had to say because you pointed me to the Savior.

 

Did you finish your doctorate yet? God bless you as you follow His plans for your life.

 

Sincerely in Christ

"Therefore, do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough worry of it's own."  Matthew 6:34

 

 P. S. My very best to Debbie. She sold me choose many Lamplighter books. It was money well spent. I'm already looking forward to what I'll pick up this year.

Thanks again to both of you. You've extended a cup of cold water to a thirsty soul.

 

Recommended Reading:  Families Where Grace is in Place and The Education of a Child by Fenelon, edited by Mark Hamby or Education of a child audio, and War of Words