Helping our teens find their career path

The following email was sent to a mom who had asked how to help her son who had graduated from high school find his career path. This is what I said:

For starters, I think I addressed some tests on my blog about this when reviewing Talent is Never Enough by Maxwell. I would start there. Next I would purchase this book, Talent is Never Enough, and go over the highlights with your son, unless he will read it for himself...pure gold! The skill discovery tests you can find on line…however, with limited experience, I do not think these tests can reveal a lot for you. Most often a person’s natural abilities are very observable. I would suggest asking his youth pastor, the pastor, his grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends….ask others what they see as your sons natural abilities and then write out the list. Ask your son…ask him what he enjoyed doing the most as a child, as a junior higher, as a senior higher….this can be anything…what was it that he enjoyed doing the most…can be a vacation to fishing to sports, to video games, to watching a movies or reading a book, bike riding or camping, building a bird house, landscaping, or puzzles. Find out what he enjoys doing this most…what were his most memorable experiences?

Whatever you find, then I would suggest, finding magazines and books that can stimulate these joys into passions and motivations. Here is how it works…when we value something, we become motivated…when we are motivated, we are willing to work hard and sacrifice for something greater…this is called worth…we move from valuing something or someone, to becoming worthy...it is difficult to value something or someone, if they themselves have not felt valued…so this is where it needs to start…sometimes, we don’t feel valued because we are selfish or sometimes neglected…selfishness is often corrected by sending our children off to see those who live in poverty…a missions trip etc..when we help others, it takes our attention off ourselves and new doors begin to open…

I think your husbands idea of letting him get sick of the video games was a good idea…now it is time to find a substitute for him…I would recommend praying, asking others, and seeking what will help your son as the highest priority in life…my wife and I did something similar with our son, and two years ago bought him a 2500. dollar professional video camera…we didn’t have the money, but I believe we can find the money when we really want something…we spend on what we value the most, and we value our kids. Then we bought him a mac computer…a year and a half later, he needed a larger computer, and we bought it…should he pay for some of it? Not just yet…he didn’t want us to buy it because he knew that things were financially tight with us because of our daughter’s wedding and medical bills…but I told him that this was an opportunity for me to show him a little bit what it was like for God to give his all for his children…God held nothing back and still doesn’t today…I told him that this was my opportunity to show him a little more of God’s sacrificial love…God holds nothing back…we are trying to do the same…and so far it is working…so we bought another mac lap top this time and final cut pro and the adobe package and he is already doing great stuff with video…he is a sophomore at Belmont University in communication design and doing well.

Concerning college being a waste…I couldn’t disagree with you more. Now I would agree that there are ways to get college degree without going into deep debt…but the disciplines that one gains by obtaining a degree and the breadth of knowledge…it is priceless…Solomon was a man of varied interests and was a scholar…we need to always be learning, growing, advancing…the children of this generation are wiser than the children of light! This ought not to be. College or junior community college would be great for him…a missions trip would even be better at first…apprenticing with someone would be excellent…the more experiences he can have these next five years, the better…he should volunteer. Before I became a teacher in the late 70’s, I drove 90 miles a day just to volunteer…in six months, they offered my a teaching position.

There is another book I would recommend, if he and your husband will read it…it is titled Ishmael, and its sequel, Self Raised…this is a must book for your son…Ronald Reagan also said that the book, That Printer of Udell’s prepared him to become president of the US. I hope this all helps…God be with you!

Mark

Thoughts for young men is another great book for him and your husband at this time…but don’t forget about Talent is Never Enough. I know I have recommended many books, but this is where you will learn how to lead your son…it takes work…it is time to begin..