Disciplining Toddlers
Hello all,
Im new here and thought I'd introduce myself. I've been married three and half years and we have 2 little boys - 22 months and 2 1/2 months. We are starting to get into many "2 year old" issues. Im just starting to hear about the concept of grace parenting and am looking
forward to hearing more on the subject. How do you implement grace with discipline esp. in a young toddler???? Im looking forward to the many things I'll learn and advice I may get!!
Thanks in advance,
Counselor's Response:
Enjoy! Smile a lot! Laugh a lot! Especially while their young! Make sure that your toddlers see mommy and daddy as their advocates not their adversaries. Too often we think that unless we break a toddler's will then we have failed in our responsibility as a parent. Toddlers need to see more of our grace and mercy than our judgment. Age doesn’t change what we are trying to reveal to our children. Our methods will be different but what we model does not change. We need to first model mercy and grace. Young children can not learn about mercy and grace unless they see it modeled from their parents. Toddlers who are defiant cannot be reasoned with but must be reached with a gracious and gentle approach. Even in our discipline and punishment if necessary, gentleness and parental composure are essential. A frustrated or angry parent is the seedbed for a willful and disobedient child. If, on the other hand, the child is acting out from his own sinful tendencies, then this parent needs to be consistent in discipline and punishment, yet loving. Traditionally the church has focused on the Scriptures that reinforce corporal punishment. Proverbs 22:15 teaches “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Though this is true, it must not be seen as formula for all offenses. God’s mercy is a thousand times greater than His judgment. Proverbs 13:24 states, “He that spares his rod hates his son; but he that loves him chastens him early.” It needs to be understood that “chastening” is not synonymous with punishment or spanking. Chastening has a range of meaning that involves reproof, instruction, and correction. I believe, if my memory serves me correctly, that there is a verse in the Bible that says, ‘Reproofs of correction are a way of life.’ We must not lose sight of the time-consuming and sometimes exhausting role of a parent. Strong-willed children are really a gift of God, who are given to certain parents to raise them to be mighty warriors who will lead the church in great spiritual battles. We must not try to drive their determined spirit out of them, but to refine and shape them to be a powerful instrument in the hands of an awesome God. This takes time, patience, consistency, mercy, grace, and a lot of prayer! Children who know that they are fully loved, fully known, without any fear of rejection, will accept discipline and punishment because they believe that their parents have their best interest in mind. This is what God does for us; this is how we need to be for our children. I have mentioned this many times, but I highly recommend you reading the book The Education of a Child. Books that will reinforce obedience to your toddlers are the Illustrated Hedge of Thorns and The True Princess. Though the Princess book is geared more for girls, it is an excellent illustration of servanthood and obedience. I do hope that you find this helpful. His grace is sufficient and His strength is made complete in our weakness.
Mark
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