End of My Rope
Dear End of your rope:
Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. Very busy days and much traveling. In regard to you comment and question:
(You should have some kind of disaster relief ministry for when your speaking does this to people! My plan was to churn out some compliant children and now that it's been blown I have no Plan B!! Can you give me some advice or recommend some resources??)
I am sitting here at the New Hampshire airport with a smile on my face - "disaster relief ministry!" I like the sounds of that. There are four foundational principles that you must constantly hold on to and go back to. They are:
Grace, mercy, truth, and love.
Grace can only be received when you exercise humility and I'm sure you will have plenty of opportunity for this exercise. The problem is with adults like you and me, is that we place responsibility above relationship. This will always lead to frustration for strong-willed children and will lead to depression for compliant children. To overcome this tendency it will take much confession, repentance, and grace. Allow your children and husband the right to confront you in truth and love when you cross the line. There will be times when you think that they deserve your authoritative alignment of their lives, but it will never bring peace in your home...trust me. Study Proverbs over and over. Check out Proverbs 16:6 and Proverbs 17:9, (I think that's right...talks about mercy, truth, and love.) I better look it up:
" My mercy and truth, iniquity is purged;" Prov. 16:6
" He that covers a transgression, seeks love." Prov. 17:9
Remember, God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Did you hear that? HE GIVES GRACE. It is the only way grace can be received. I picture Grace as an attractive older lady who accepts you as you are. She makes you feel valued in her presence.
Next there is MERCY. Get to know Mercy. She is so forgetful, but most of other's offenses. She also has a sister whose name is Hope. They are two of the most enjoyable girls. They help you understand why God's mercies are new and fresh every morning. Let mercy be a thousand times greater than your friend Judgment.
Truth will set you free and allow others to be free as well. The problem with their older brother Truth is that sometimes he is outspoken. He must always be tempered by Mercy. Truth can never be by himself! Never! He is a wonderful person, but just gets carried away because he knows that what he has to say is so life-changing. He thinks that if everyone would listen to him, most of the problems in the world would be solved! He means well, but just needs the balance of Mercy. She keeps him in check. My heart was good, but my methods were wrong. Mercy will help you keep your heart and methods in balance.
Lastly, there is Father Love, and He never fails. Never! He hides a multitude of sins and is able to easily forget about the offenses of others. He loves so much that others love to be around Him. I guess when you have friends like these, you are in good company. Let me know how your new friends change your life, and your relationship with your daughter.
God bless,
Mark
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