ISSUE 6
[Table of Contents]

The Angry Parent - Part VI
Resolved Conflicts and Restored Relationships
Y2K: Fact, Fiction, or Faith?
Let God's Creatures Be The Teachers
His-Story Revealed
Seek First To Understand

As we discussed in previous articles, unrighteous anger is rooted in selfishness. And with selfishness comes impatience, strife, and all sorts of acrimony. I remember an incident when my son asked if he could drive the car to visit his Nonny and Papa. My answer was "No." He proceeded to explain why he needed the car, and again I said, "No." He then turned to his mom and began to explain to her his reasons for needing the car. You guessed it! My anger burst forth like a volcanic eruption. I was totally justified! He couldn’t take a "no," so I was going to make sure that he understood the error of his way!

As a result, the evening was ruined, a relationship was damaged, and my pride, selfishness, and impatience were more deeply rooted. Sometimes one has to wonder what it will take to be truly transformed into the likeness of our Savior, the Servant of all.

My friends, there is help to overcome the devastating effects of unrighteous anger. In Ephesians 4, Paul As we discussed in previous articles, unrighteous anger is rooted in selfishness. And with selfishness comes impatience, strife, and all sorts of acrimony. I remember an incident when my son asked if he could drive the car to visit his Nonny and Papa. My answer was "No." He proceeded to explain why he needed the car, and again I said, "No." He then turned to his mom and began to explain to her his reasons for needing the car. You guessed it! My anger burst forth like a volcanic eruption. I was totally justified! He couldn’t take a "no," so I was going to make sure that he understood the error of his way!

As a result, the evening was ruined, a relationship was damaged, and my pride, selfishness, and impatience were more deeply rooted. Sometimes one has to wonder what it will take to be truly transformed into the likeness of our Savior, the Servant of all.

My friends, there is help to overcome the devastating effects of unrighteous anger. In Ephesians 4, Paul urges believers to walk worthy of their calling. He further exhorts them to be humble, gentle, patient, and forbearing in love; making every effort to keep unity through peaceful actions.

Note the first action: be humble. If you are willing to recognize that your anger is a destructive force in your life, without justifying your response, then complete humility must be the first step. Humility will then release you to admit wrong and restore relationships.

It is not enough to admit wrong, however; you must now replace the weeds of anger and pride with the seeds of gentleness, patience, forbearance and, above all, sacrificial love.

An angry spirit, even though held in check, is usually void of expressing positive encouragement. Plan to offer words of encouragement and do not be offended if you do not receive immediate acceptance. This will come in His time. If you endeavor to break the bonds of anger, you must make a purposeful effort to replace angry words with encouraging words. This principle of replacement is linked to Paul’s admonition in Ephesians 4, "Be angry and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Here in Ephesians 4:21-32, Paul exhorts believers to put away sinful behavior and to replace it with righteous acts. For example, those who steal need to now labor for the benefit of others. Those who speak with corrupt communication need to now speak gracefully in order to encourage others. Those who are given to anger need to now:

"Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ’s sake, hath forgiven you."

My friends, do not allow Satan to gain a foothold in your life. Humble yourself (admit wrong) and replace anger with encouragement.

As we discussed in previous articles, unrighteous anger is rooted in selfishness. And with selfishness comes impatience, strife, and all sorts of acrimony. I remember an incident when my son asked if he could drive the car to visit his Nonny and Papa. My answer was "No." He proceeded to explain why he needed the car, and again I said, "No." He then turned to his mom and began to explain to her his reasons for needing the car. You guessed it! My anger burst forth like a volcanic eruption. I was totally justified! He couldn’t take a "no," so I was going to make sure that he understood the error of his way!

As a result, the evening was ruined, a relationship was damaged, and my pride, selfishness, and impatience were more deeply rooted. Sometimes one has to wonder what it will take to be truly transformed into the likeness of our Savior, the Servant of all.

My friends, there is help to overcome the devastating effects of unrighteous anger. In Ephesians 4, Paul urges believers to walk worthy of their calling. He further exhorts them to be humble, gentle, patient, and forbearing in love; making every effort to keep unity through peaceful actions.

Note the first action: be humble. If you are willing to recognize that your anger is a destructive force in your life, without justifying your response, then complete humility must be the first step. Humility will then release you to admit wrong and restore relationships.

It is not enough to admit wrong, however; you must now replace the weeds of anger and pride with the seeds of gentleness, patience, forbearance and, above all, sacrificial love.

An angry spirit, even though held in check, is usually void of expressing positive encouragement. Plan to offer words of encouragement and do not be offended if you do not receive immediate acceptance. This will come in His time. If you endeavor to break the bonds of anger, you must make a purposeful effort to replace angry words with encouraging words. This principle of replacement is linked to Paul’s admonition in Ephesians 4, "Be angry and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Here in Ephesians 4:21-32, Paul exhorts believers to put away sinful behavior and to replace it with righteous acts. For example, those who steal need to now labor for the benefit of others. Those who speak with corrupt communication need to now speak gracefully in order to encourage others. Those who are given to anger need to now:

"Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ’s sake, hath forgiven you."

My friends, do not allow Satan to gain a foothold in your life. Humble yourself (admit wrong) and replace anger with encouragement.

Recommended Reading:

Bound By Honor, Gary & Greg Smalley

The Lamplighter, Maria S. Cummins

Tell Me the Promises, Joni Eareckson Tada

I'll Be With You Always, Joni Eareckson Tada

The Angry Parent, Mark Hamby (audio)

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This is the first part of a new series that will focus on the patriarchal life of Jacob and his family. Reading Genesis, chapters twenty-five through thirty-six will be beneficial.

Many of us were able to identify our children’s personalities at birth. Some moms have even sensed whether the child was passive or dominant during her nine months of pregnancy. In fact, there was one such woman who accurately identified the nature of her twin residents.

Rebekah, Jacob’s mother, not only sensed the personalities of her sons, but was well aware that they were actually "fighting" in her womb. Upon their birth, Rebekah named her sons according to their natures. The one, Esau, arrived first, all red and hairy, as the Bible describes. Now isn’t that an interesting description? (Maybe some of you can remember the way your children first looked - scary, wasn’t it?) And then came Jacob, Esau’s twin brother. He was born with a free ride in life, as the Bible describes him as holding on to his brother’s heel. (Gen. 25) Can you imagine the response of the midwife? There he was, holding on to his brother’s heel, smiling as he winked at the midwife on the way out! Now why does the Bible give such detailed descriptions? (Not the winking, of course!) Concerning Esau, the word "red" in Hebrew comes from the root word ADM. The word ADM refers to the ground or earth. That is why God named the first man Adam, because he was formed from the ground. The color of the ground in the Fertile Crescent has a reddish color to the soil, thus the description of Esau. Later in Genesis, Esau’s name is changed to Edom, which is another form of the word Adam.

Esau was also a man of the "field". Now the intended meaning conveyed in these word pictures is quite revealing. Esau was an "earthly" man with "worldly" temporal pursuits, who sacrificed his birthright for a bowl of pottage. He was willing to sacrifice something eternal for that which was temporal.

Jacob, too, was rightly named. The Hebrew meaning for the name "Jacob" is "palm" of hand. Though the idea of "supplanter" is within the range of meaning, the root word "palm" better describes his nature. The palm of one’s hand is curved. The palm of one’s hand is also involved in grasping. Jacob, the "curved one" or the "crooked one", was always grasping or holding on to that which was not rightfully his. He grasped after the birthright, the blessing, his uncle’s sheep, and a second wife, never being content with God as the ruler of his life. It is interesting to note that the word for "righteous" in Hebrew is the word for "straight." As we will see later in this study, Jacob, the crooked one, was about to be made "straight" by a Holy God.

We can all be compared to Esau and Jacob. Because none of us is born "straight" or righteous, we all have either a "worldly" (Esau) tendency or a self-pursuing or "grasping" (Jacob) tendency toward life. Yes, it is true that once we have experienced salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord, we are made righteous. However, this does not instantaneously release us from all of our former, worldly tendencies.

But because we have a Father who loves us enough to not allow us to remain in our sin, He chastens and sometimes scourges. Just as we correct our children, God corrects us. As this theme unfolds, it is my purpose to help each of us recognize the loving hand of God as He endeavors to change us into His likeness.

As we embark on the journey together, please keep in mind that it is only those "whom the Lord loves that He chastens". (Heb. 12:6) The process of "straightening" (making righteous) is never without trials or afflictions. What is essential, however, is that we recognize God’s chastening hand before scourging becomes necessary, as it was with Jacob.

Recommended Reading:

Resolved Conflicts and Restored Relationships,Mark Hamby(audio)

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Will something really happen when we enter the new millennium? Some say that life as we now enjoy it will be changed overnight into a nightmare of food shortages, electrical outages, bank closings, anarchy, and severe trial. Others say that nothing will change, and that it is even a time to invest and capitalize on the poor decisions that come from panic and presumption. To make matters more confusing, there are learned men and women on both sides who staunchly affirm their beliefs. So what should we do?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding; but in all your ways, know Him. Does this mean we should not be prepared? In no way should one not take the Y2K potential crisis seriously, nor should one take it too seriously. I realize the contradiction in that statement, but we must never forget that our Lord rules the events of heaven and earth, and for those who seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all things will be added unto them!

Y2K-type phenomenons have occurred throughout civilization. There have been economic collapses, famines, plagues, and natural disasters in which mankind was at the mercy of the Lord. Yes, some were more prepared than others, but being prepared does not guarantee that we will not suffer loss.

Whether or not there will be a crisis as a result of Y2K is insignificant compared to the crisis of being spiritually ill-prepared. God’s judgment has been evident throughout history. Why shouldn’t a crisis occur in a nation where evil has become good and good evil? (Isaiah 5:20) There will come a day when God will judge His people - for judgment must first begin at the house of God. Will there be a devastating crisis as we enter the new millennium? Only God knows.

One thing is certain, however. Historically, nations that have turned their backs on God, especially nations where babies have been slaughtered and morality has been a personal preference, have experienced God’s judgment in one form or another. Only when God’s people humbled themselves and prayed, and sought God’s face did God begin to heal their land. Whether or not the potential Y2K crisis will take place is not the question; rather, will we turn to God with all our hearts as we ought? Will Christians be exempt from suffering? Such was not the case during the time of the early church, the Reformation, or during Communist regimes.

I believe there is coming a day when those who are godly shall suffer persecution. Whether this will be Y2K related remains to be seen. What is certain, however, is that we as parents must redeem the time and prepare our children to trust God despite the circumstances they might face.

For starters, we need to bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5) This may mean removing the media’s influence in our homes and replacing it with spiritually motivating activities, especially reinstating the fireside readings that made Dad the principle story reader before the children went to bed.

The days in which we live are certainly evil, and the time we have with our children is short. May we awaken from our sleep and begin to redeem the time. Dads, I believe that it is up to us to take the lead in this area and pray that God will do whatever it takes to change us into His likeness so that we might be spiritually prepared for whatever crisis might come our way.

Recommended Reading:

The Inheritance, Christoph Von Schmid

The Basket of Flowers, Christoph Von Schmid

The Hedge of Thorns, John Carroll

Clean Your Boots, Sir?, Anonymous

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Let God's Creatures be the Teachers

"Come unto me, all ye who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-29.

Why would anyone want to put a yoke around their neck when they are already overburdened and weighed down? I find it interesting that Jesus goes as far as to say that He is meek and lowly and then offers you this yoke to put on. As if you weren’t carrying enough weight already!

The yoke in Matthew 11 is not a typical yoke. For my urban readers, a yoke is a wooden collar that is placed upon a beast of burden that carries the load of his master. The yoke that Jesus is describing is similar, but with one exception. Jesus’ yoke is a training yoke. It is a double yoke that was used to attach a pulling heifer with a young heifer-in-training. As both animals were linked together, the young heifer would follow the steps of the pulling heifer, side by side. The pulling heifer pulled most of the weight of the burden; thus, the significance of Jesus’ statement, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden (burdened), and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you." In other words, "Come alongside of me, and I will carry the weight of your burden."

If the training heifer had tried to take the lead, however, he would have suffered the burden of all the weight. So it is today with many Christians who take the lead and follow their own path in life. Are you tired and burdened? Are you finding that your laboring leaves you little or no strength? The path that leads to rest is found when we are yoked side by side with Jesus - learning from Him. Note that I said from Him and not of Him. Actually, the Greek word "of" in Matthew 11 should be translated "from". We need to learn from Him. We need to look closely at His words, His walk, and His wisdom.

Once we begin to learn from Him, we will soon be able to recognize the enemy’s yoke that shackles and binds without restful consolation. In fact, one of the deceptions of the devil is to force the believer into a pattern of constant and unending laboring which leads to unfulfilled desires. The prophet Haggai stated it succinctly when he commanded, "Consider your ways. You have sown much but bring in little. Ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but are not filled; ye clothe yourself, but are not warm; and ye earn wages, only to put it into a bag with holes."

Have you ever felt that all of your efforts were being stored in a bag with holes? Matthew 11:29 is the key that patches the holes, replenishes your strength, and allows you to carry your burdens without all the excess weight. Jesus said, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

You must remove the yoke that is binding your life, and attach yourself to His yoke. "My yoke is easy..." Only then will your burden be bearable. "My burden is light." Note that it is clearly His yoke and His burden. He never intended for you to carry this weight alone.

Recommended Reading:

Let Go, Fenelon

A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, Phillip Keller

Christie's Old Organ, O. F. Walton

Let God's Creatures Be The Teachers, Mark Hamby (audio)

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The moral and political corruption of the day were certainly key factors that led to Rome’s collapse, but there was also an economic factor. Before I explain, let me do a little probing. Did you ever wonder why the quarter, dime, and half dollar have grooves on them while the penny and nickel do not?

During the days of the Roman Empire, the government became greedy, wanting new roads, a bigger army, and more luxury for their political leaders. The payment plan for these luxuries was called clipping. This involved chopping the edges of the coins, remelting, and then reminting them into new coins. More money was added to the economy, but the value of the coins decreased. When businesses received a coin that was no longer round, they began to demand an extra coin to make up for the loss. The devaluation of the Roman coin led to inflation (more money placed in circulation from the reminted coins). The reason for the ridges on the dime, quarter, and half dollar was to prevent the government from scalping the edges of the coins. The penny and nickel are smooth because they are not considered precious metal like silver.

Today, the American government has followed the practice of the Romans. Since they couldn’t cut the edges of the coins and get away with it, they devised another scheme. In 1965, most silver dimes, quarters, and half dollars were confiscated by the government, remelted, and then reminted with a mixture of less expensive metals. The result was a devaluing of our dollar and inflation (more money placed in circulation that wasn’t earned).

Information for this article was taken from the book, "Whatever Happened to Penny Candy?" by Richard J. Maybury. You can order the book for $9.99 by calling toll free, 1-888-A-Gospel. This is a great book that will teach children and adults how world economics works, in an easy-to-understand format.

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One evening I was sharing something with my wife that had been bothering me. As she responded with a defensive spirit, my first reaction was to defend my position with a gentle rebuke. My rebuke, however, added more fuel to the fire, and it was evident that we would not be going to dinner as planned.

My mind raced for a contingency plan. I had two choices: I could hold on and not cave in, taking a stand that what I had said was in the right spirit and that she needed to hear it…OR…I could seek first to understand before being understood. As I look back on nineteen years of marriage, I realize that if I had sought first to understand before being understood, I would have prevented literally years of conflict. Unfortunately, I was too proud to admit wrong. Proverbs 13:10 states that "only by pride cometh contentions." Conflicts are the result of pride.

As my mind was deciding which approach I was to take, my heart was open enough to seek first to understand. Even though I believed that I was not at fault, I calmly asked if my words were offensive and how I could have approached this differently. Almost immediately, reconciliation was taking root. Deb’s account of what I had said and how I had said it was very different from how I viewed things. She explained how I could have handled this situation in a gentler, non-threatening manner.

At this stage there was only one thing left to do. Admit wrong, tenderly apologize for the hurt that I caused, and cautiously ask if she still would like to go to dinner!

Seeking first to understand and then being understood is a vital link to restored relationships. The results are definitely worth the price of swallowing pride. Oh, by the way, we had a wonderful evening - I ordered a salmon salad and Deb had broiled haddock!

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