Rebellion
Hi Mark,
We haven't "spoken" for about a year. John and I have continued praying for our son, and things were going along until he got his license. (Not really going well, we were waiting and praying for his involvement with the family, and he was becoming more secluded in his room.) The last several weeks have been full of poor decisions on his part. He was choosing the wrong company and staying at his house quite a bit. (Someone in the court system told us the other boy was a very bad influence on our son, which we had already seen, and had forbid him to come here)
Last Tuesday, we went by the school to tell him that we had an appointment with the Court Designated Worker. She wanted to talk with him, and see if he would submit to the rules of our home without filing a *Diversion* (It is designed to bring the child back under authority by enforcing curfew's, counsel, etc.) and he would not go with us. She, (the CDW) sent us to the judge yesterday. We saw the judge after 3 & 1/2 hours. He was still not there. We had gone by school and asked him to come. He would not. The judge was not happy. He sent an officer to school (he was supposed to serve detention for skipping day with the other boy) and then to our home to retrieve our son. We spoke with a social worker and went to see the judge again. He was not humble and had no reason for not coming with us. He was sent to a Detention Center. My husband and I came home, broken and weeping beyond tears and cleaned out his room. We believe he is depressed. We found a poem that indicated it. I pray he was broken in his will. We meet today to discuss placement. The judge ordered it.
My question is this. Do you have your school finished? Is it possible for a young man in need of healing to come there? And if so, what procedure is necessary?
My plea is for my precious son. I did not know it was possible to hurt like this. In his eyes, we may have violated him. But many things that were tearing him down are now gone from his room. He, in his hurt, has made some poor choices, as I can also relate in being a parent. I pray that this is the beginning to the road to healing for our son. Mark, please ask your staff to pray for him. I can't thank you enough. God Bless you and thank you for your ministry.
In Christ,
Don't Know Where to Turn
Dear Parent:
You and your husband have entered closer to the heart of God. You can now understand a little of what He goes through on a regular basis with us. It is interesting that you write to me. I am presently working on research that deals with adolescents who are in your sons position. God has much to say about this in Lamentations chapters one to three. First, God is intentionally trying to exhaust your sons patience. He has to get your son to a point where he realizes that his attempts to fill his deepest longings can only be met by God Himself. During this time, it is essential that the parents are not the adversary. He is going to need as much support as possible. He knows how miserably he is. Firm but loving. Merciful more than judgment. Kindness more than harshness. Compassion more than confrontation. See Colossians chapter 3. (Put on a heart of compassion). Life itself will be an adversary...he is going to need his mom and dad the same way the prodigal son needed his dad when he hit bottom. Remember, this father was patiently waiting and watching for his son to return, and when he did, this father never said one word to him. The only words spoken by this father were words spoken to the servant that his son had returned and now it was time to celebrate. The most important thing for your son to see from you both right now, is the character of God--mercy, compassion, longsuffering, patience, gentleness, peace, and truth. You can be truthful but make sure truth is balanced with mercy. If it was not for God's grace where would we all be?
If you son is depressed, then I suggest that you get immediate counsel. If you need a referral I know of a counselor who can help via phone. Let me know if you would like to pursue this avenue. Our staff will be praying for your family.
Mark Hamby
